Be yourself everyone else is already taken

Relationship changes
led to self discovery

Oscar Wilde once said "be yourself, everyone else is taken".

Yet it wasn't until a few years ago, I found myself in a relationship where I constantly tried to change to meet my partner’s expectations.

At first, it seemed like small adjustments, watching shows they liked, adopting their hobbies, and even altering my style.

Gradually, I realised I was losing touch with who I truly was. One day, I looked in the mirror and barely recognised the person staring back at me.

This moment of clarity made me understand the importance of staying true to myself, and it was the turning point that led me to a happier, more authentic life.

Key Lessons

The importance of authenticity
The cost of compromise
Foundation of healthy relationships
Avoiding control and embracing growth
Role of self respect
Journey to self discovery
Setting boundaries
Importance of authenticity
Celebrating your individuality
FAQs -Be yourself everyone else is already taken

blog / be yourself everyone else is already taken

The Importance of Authenticity

Staying true to yourself in any relationship is essential for long-term happiness and fulfilment. When you constantly change to please others, you risk losing touch with your authentic self.

This disconnection can lead to a profound sense of unhappiness that is challenging to overcome.

There are two things at play here, wanting to be liked and popular, desirable and being something that you're not.

Personally I think its very easy to slip into the latter because of outside influences and a weak character.

Now let me be clear, I'm not pointing fingers here, I'm simply saying someone of strong character and mind, knows who exactly they are and will fight to keep that identity.

The Cost of Compromise

Consider the impact of compromising your identity to meet someone else's expectations. Small changes might seem harmless at first, but over time, they can accumulate and fundamentally alter your personality, values, and aspirations. You may wake up one day and not recognise the person you've become, all in an effort to satisfy another's desires.

I've heard others say "I didn't know who I was any more" and I often wondered why, until it happened to me. Slowly over time I noticed I had fallen into a rut and instead of speaking up for myself, I said nothing to keep the peace. I realise now, that was a choice and one that wasn't my wisest either. Making decisions not to upset anyone, whilst eroding your persona is fool hardy at best and dangerous at worst.

The Foundation of Healthy Relationships

Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and acceptance. A friend who truly cares for you will appreciate your unique qualities and support your personal growth, rather than trying to mould you into their ideal. This mutual respect is crucial for a strong and lasting connection.

Connection is the key word, as no relationship is 50 / 50, sometimes its 80 / 20 or 70 / 30, and it's constantly fluctuating or self balancing. This means between the partnership there are dynamics at play, that are not written in a text book.

Take my friend John, he's a house husband looking after two small children, his wife a high flyer in sales and marketing ensures she's home for 8pm the latest so she can put the kids to bed. John has taken on a role or dynamic that's rarely discussed nor seen as equal. The connection that John and his wife Cheryl have is unique to them and they are a lovely couple that work.

Avoiding Control and Embracing Growth

You attract what you project, so be aware of your vibe. Are you still coming to terms with a difficult break up, then take the time to heal internally before projecting your emotional state on others.

Equally so, never settle for a situation where you feel controlled or diminished. Welcome your authentic self and seek relationships that allow you to grow and flourish. In my humble opinion, this is only achievable when you are one with yourself. So what if you've got a mum belly, you did bring life into this world. Be proud of this achievement.

When you are true to yourself, you attract people who value you for who you are.

The Role of Self Respect

Self respect starts at home and with yourself. If you can't love yourself, then that's your starting point. If you don't love yourself, then ask yourself why. I recall going through a period when I didn't like myself, my character was all whack, my persona was self centered and my job sucked. I remember things have got to change, slowly but surely, they did.

Self-respect plays a significant role in maintaining authenticity. By valuing yourself and your uniqueness, you set the standard for how others should treat you. This self respect is a powerful tool in attracting healthy relationships where both partners thrive.

If none of this makes sense, it maybe easier to grasp it in a business sense. Self respect is clearly demonstrated when two companies come together, maybe the head of company A and the head of company B share the top positions in the newly merged company.

The Journey to Self-Discovery

Part of staying true to yourself involves continuous self-discovery. As you grow and evolve, so will your understanding of who you are and what you want from life and relationships. This journey is ongoing and requires a commitment to self-reflection and honesty.

Being honest with yourself is one of the most difficult internal tasks to balance. It means at times being self critical, without being negative and continually putting yourself down. So please be very careful how you assess yourself. Objectivity is key because taking one step back, fully assessing the situation and evaluating previous information means you can be balanced and fair at the same time.

TIP: Touch base with someone you trust, a straight talking friend who you knows shoots from the hip. This person is highly likely to give you a good steer, than anyone else. Avoid someone blowing hot air up your rear end. this can do irrecoverable damage.

Setting Boundaries

I remember as a child I had free reign to do as I please when I undertook house chores. This soon descended into chaos and my parents had to outline what I could and couldn't do. As much as I hated those pesky rules, those rules gave structure, and structure meant things operated 100% better than before.

Treat boundaries as a friend. Setting boundaries is a critical aspect of staying true to yourself. By clearly communicating your limits and needs, you protect your authenticity and ensure that your relationships are based on mutual respect. Boundaries help prevent resentment and maintain a healthy dynamic.

Celebrating Your Individuality

All I want is someone to share my weirdness, is that too much to ask. Personally I don't think so, but if you are pretending to be someone that your not, and your partner in crime doesn't like that person what do you do then.

The rationale to be something or someone your not, just to please another is as smart as going shopping when your hungry. We both know your going to buy all the food, all the crap and regret it sooner, rather than later.

Always be yourself, if your loud, be louder. If your weird, be weirder. Always be your undeniable self, you will attract others from the same ilk. Celebrate your individuality and the qualities that make you unique. There's only one of you, so be the best version you can be.

Live to the Fullest

We all live for approximately 28,000 days, by the age of twenty your already down to 21,000 days and at age 40 that's 14,000 days left. OK I think you've got the message loud and clear, life as we know it, is short. So make the most of it.

Spend time with people who make you belly laugh and wee your pants a bit. Those moments you'll remember forever. Accept your true self and seek out relationships that respect and celebrate your authenticity. This approach leads to deeper connections and a more satisfying life.

Staying true to yourself is not just beneficial, it's crucial for your well-being. By maintaining your authenticity, you ensure that your connections are genuine and supportive. Accept who you are, set clear boundaries, and celebrate your individuality. In doing so, you'll attract the kind of people that bring true happiness and fulfilment.

"Be yourself, everyone else is already taken," and let your relationships be a reflection of your genuine self.

Frequently asked questions

What is the power of authenticity?

The power of authenticity lies in its ability to build trust, enhance relationships, and drive personal and professional success.

Authenticity fosters trust by promoting transparency and genuineness. It deepens connections in personal and professional relationships, boosting confidence and self-esteem.

Personal growth and resilience are also enhanced through authenticity, as it encourages self-reflection, honest communication, vulnerability, and consistent actions. Overall, authenticity leads to more meaningful and successful interactions.

Why is it important to remain authentic to oneself?

Remaining authentic to oneself is important because it builds trust, enhances relationships, boosts confidence, and fosters personal growth.

Authenticity leads to genuine connections, reduces the stress of pretending to be someone else, and aligns actions with true values and beliefs. It also promotes mental well-being and resilience, allowing individuals to live more fulfilling and meaningful lives.

Is it possible to stay true to yourself and be in healthy relationships?

Yes, it is possible to stay true to yourself and be in healthy relationships. Authenticity in relationships fosters trust, respect, and deeper connections.

By being genuine and honest about your thoughts, feelings, and values, you create a strong foundation for mutual understanding and support.

Healthy relationships thrive on open communication and the acceptance of each other's true selves, allowing both individuals to grow and flourish together.

What does it mean to be true to yourself in a relationship?

Being true to yourself in a relationship means maintaining your values, beliefs, and individuality while being honest and transparent with your partner.

It involves expressing your genuine thoughts and feelings, setting healthy boundaries, and not compromising your identity to please others.

This authenticity fosters trust, respect, and deeper connections, contributing to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship.

What do you mean by be yourself everyone else is already taken?

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken, means embracing your unique identity and qualities instead of imitating others.

It encourages authenticity and self-acceptance, emphasizing that your individuality is valuable and irreplaceable.

By being true to yourself, you can lead a more fulfilling and genuine life, build stronger relationships, and achieve personal growth.

What Happens When You Become Your Authentic Self?

When you become your authentic self, you experience increased confidence, self-esteem, and personal fulfillment.

Authenticity leads to stronger, more genuine relationships and fosters trust and respect from others. It allows you to pursue goals that truly align with your values, enhancing your sense of purpose.

Additionally, being authentic reduces stress and improves mental well-being, as you no longer feel the need to conform to external expectations.

About Cayla

Our story begins in lockdown, in the era of solitude and isolation.

As the world slowed down and people sought comfort in the sanctuary of their homes, the concept of Cayla Henri's wax melts were born.